The way adults respond to children’s efforts can have a profound impact on how they view learning, challenges and their own abilities. Whether at home, in school or during tutoring sessions, praise and feedback help shape a child’s confidence, motivation and willingness to persevere when things become difficult.
Many parents naturally want to encourage their children by telling them they are clever, talented or gifted. While these comments are usually well intentioned, research has shown that the type of praise children receive matters just as much as the praise itself.
Effective praise and constructive feedback can help children develop resilience, confidence and a lifelong love of learning. Poorly delivered feedback, on the other hand, can unintentionally create anxiety, fear of failure or a belief that intelligence is fixed rather than something that can grow over time.
In this article, we explore how praise and feedback shape a child’s attitude towards learning, how approaches should vary across different age groups, and how parents and tutors can use encouragement effectively.
Why Praise Matters
Praise serves an important purpose in children’s development. It helps them understand what behaviours, attitudes and actions are valued. It can also strengthen relationships between children and the adults supporting them.
However, not all praise has the same effect.
When children receive praise that focuses solely on outcomes, such as getting high marks or being “the smartest in the class”, they may begin to associate their self-worth with achievement. This can create pressure and make them reluctant to take risks or attempt challenging tasks.
In contrast, praise that focuses on effort, strategies and perseverance encourages children to see learning as a process. They begin to understand that success comes through practice, persistence and problem-solving.
For example, saying:
“You worked really hard on that piece of writing.”
often has a more positive long-term impact than:
“You’re such a brilliant writer.”
The first statement highlights effort and actions that the child can control. The second focuses on a fixed characteristic.
The Link Between Praise and Growth Mindset
The concept of a growth mindset has become increasingly influential in education. Children with a growth mindset believe that abilities can develop through effort, practice and effective strategies.
When adults consistently praise effort, determination and improvement, children are more likely to embrace challenges and recover from setbacks.
A child who believes they can improve is often willing to:
- Attempt difficult tasks
- Learn from mistakes
- Accept constructive feedback
- Persist when work becomes challenging
- Develop greater confidence over time
This does not mean offering praise for every action or avoiding criticism altogether. Instead, it means helping children recognise that learning is a journey rather than a test of innate ability.
Why Feedback Is Just as Important as Praise
While praise encourages, feedback guides.
Feedback helps children understand what they have done well and what they can improve. Without feedback, praise alone can become vague or meaningless.
Effective feedback is specific and actionable.
For example:
“Your introduction clearly explains your argument. Next time, try adding more evidence to support your points.”
This gives a child clear information about both strengths and next steps.
Children benefit most from feedback when it feels supportive rather than judgemental. The goal is not to point out flaws but to help them develop skills and confidence.
When feedback is delivered positively, children learn that mistakes are not failures. Instead, they become opportunities for growth.
Praise and Feedback for Younger Children
Primary-aged children are often highly responsive to praise. At this stage, they are building foundational beliefs about themselves as learners.
Young children benefit from immediate feedback and encouragement. They are still learning how effort connects to outcomes and often need adults to help them recognise their progress.
For younger learners, effective praise might focus on:
- Trying something new
- Concentrating for longer periods
- Showing kindness during group activities
- Using a new strategy
- Demonstrating resilience after making mistakes
Simple comments such as “I noticed how carefully you checked your work” can help children understand which behaviours contribute to success.
It is also important to avoid comparing children to siblings or classmates. Comparison can undermine confidence and shift focus away from personal growth.
Praise and Feedback for Secondary School Pupils
As children move into secondary education, feedback becomes increasingly important.
Teenagers face greater academic demands, more formal assessment and increasing pressure from exams. At this stage, they often need feedback that is detailed, practical and focused on improvement.
Secondary pupils generally respond best when feedback:
- Identifies specific strengths
- Provides clear next steps
- Encourages independence
- Recognises effort and progress
- Supports long-term goal setting
Teenagers are often more sensitive to criticism than adults realise. Feedback delivered respectfully and collaboratively can help maintain motivation while still promoting improvement.
Rather than focusing solely on grades, discussions should include learning habits, revision techniques, organisation and problem-solving skills.
The Importance of Praise and Feedback for SEND Learners
Children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) can face additional barriers within education. They may experience repeated setbacks, misunderstand instructions, struggle with confidence or compare themselves negatively to peers.
For these learners, carefully considered praise and feedback can be particularly powerful.
Children with dyslexia may need recognition for effort and persistence when reading or writing tasks feel challenging.
Children with ADHD often benefit from immediate feedback that acknowledges focus, organisation and self-regulation rather than purely academic outcomes.
Autistic learners may appreciate clear, specific feedback that avoids ambiguity and highlights exactly what has been done well.
Pupils with SEMH needs may require consistent encouragement to rebuild confidence and develop trust in educational settings.
The key principle is recognising progress relative to the child’s starting point rather than comparing them to age-related expectations or peers.
Small achievements can represent significant milestones and deserve genuine recognition.
Common Mistakes Adults Make
Although praise and feedback are valuable tools, they can sometimes be used in ways that reduce their effectiveness.
One common mistake is offering excessive praise for routine tasks. When children receive praise for everything, it can lose meaning.
Another mistake is focusing exclusively on outcomes. If adults only celebrate high grades or perfect scores, children may begin to fear making mistakes.
Some adults also unintentionally provide feedback that feels personal rather than constructive.
For example:
“You’re not good at maths.”
can quickly damage confidence.
A more helpful alternative might be:
“This topic is difficult right now, but let’s work out which part is causing the problem.”
The difference may seem small, but it changes the message from a judgement about ability to a discussion about learning.
Tips for Parents
Parents play a crucial role in shaping attitudes towards learning. Children often spend more time receiving feedback at home than in any other environment.
When supporting learning at home:
Focus on effort, strategies and persistence rather than only results.
Ask questions about what your child learned rather than what mark they achieved.
Celebrate improvements, no matter how small.
Model positive attitudes towards mistakes and problem-solving.
Encourage reflection by asking what worked well and what could be done differently next time.
Create an environment where learning feels safe, supportive and free from excessive pressure.
Remember that confidence develops gradually. Consistent encouragement over time often has a greater impact than occasional praise for major achievements.
Pro Tips for Tutors
Tutors occupy a unique position because they often work one-to-one with learners and can provide highly personalised feedback.
Effective tutors understand that academic progress and emotional confidence are closely connected.
When giving feedback:
Start by identifying a genuine strength before discussing areas for improvement.
Use specific examples rather than general statements.
Link success to strategies and effort rather than natural ability.
Encourage pupils to self-assess before providing your own feedback.
Break larger goals into smaller, achievable targets.
Maintain high expectations while ensuring pupils feel supported.
Recognise non-academic achievements such as confidence, independence and resilience.
For SEND pupils, adapt feedback to individual communication styles and processing needs.
The most successful tutors create learning environments where mistakes are viewed as a normal and valuable part of progress.
Building Positive Learners for Life
Praise and feedback are far more than motivational tools. They help shape how children view themselves, their abilities and the learning process itself.
When children receive thoughtful praise that recognises effort, persistence and improvement, they develop confidence and resilience. When they receive constructive feedback that guides rather than criticises, they learn how to improve without fearing mistakes.
Whether supporting a young child learning to read, a teenager preparing for GCSEs, or a pupil with additional learning needs, the messages adults communicate matter enormously.
By focusing on growth, progress and effort, parents, teachers and tutors can help children develop positive attitudes towards learning that extend far beyond the classroom.
The ultimate goal is not simply academic success. It is helping children become confident, capable learners who are willing to embrace challenges, learn from setbacks and continue growing throughout their lives.