Resilience is a bit like a child’s internal raincoat. It does not stop the storm, but it helps them keep moving through it without feeling completely drenched. For primary aged children, resilience shows up in small, everyday acts of courage. Having another go at a tricky word. Coping when a friend says no. Walking into school even when their tummy feels fluttery.
Since Covid, many parents and teachers have noticed that those everyday challenges can feel bigger for children. Wobbles can last longer. Tears can come quicker. Frustration often boils over faster. This is not about children being weaker. It is about children having had fewer chances to build and practise resilience during a very unusual chapter of their lives.
In this article, we will explore together why resilience has been affected, what teachers are noticing in school, and most importantly, how parents can help primary aged children build resilience at home in realistic, supportive ways.
Why resilience was affected by Covid
Resilience develops through manageable challenge. Children try, stumble, adjust, and try again, all within the safety of predictable routines and steady relationships. During the pandemic, that pattern was disrupted.
School closures meant less daily structure. Playgrounds went quiet. Clubs stopped. Family stress increased. Even when learning continued at home, it often looked very different from the classroom experience.
Research has explored how these disruptions affected young children. An Education Policy Institute report commissioned by the Education Endowment Foundation examined the impact of the pandemic on pupils starting school and highlighted links between disrupted early experiences and children’s socio- emotional wellbeing. Socio-emotional development underpins resilience. When that foundation is shaken, confidence and coping can wobble too.
Children also absorbed the emotional climate around them. Even if adults shielded them from news and worries, children are perceptive. They notice tension. They sense uncertainty. When the grown up world feels unpredictable, children often respond by clinging tighter or avoiding risk.
Even Year 1 and Year 2 pupils have been affected
It can be tempting to assume that younger children were too little to remember or be impacted. In reality, many Year 1 and Year 2 pupils experienced key developmental stages during lockdowns and restrictions.
Some missed large chunks of nursery or preschool, which are crucial years for learning how to share, negotiate, regulate emotions, and separate confidently from parents. These early classroom experiences are where children rehearse independence in tiny steps. Hanging up a coat. Choosing an activity. Solving a disagreement over a toy.
Without consistent exposure to those social and emotional rehearsals, some children entered Key Stage 1 with less practice in managing frustration, waiting their turn, or persisting with tasks. For a six or seven year old, those are enormous skills. If they were built in a more limited environment, it is understandable that resilience may feel thinner.
Younger pupils may also struggle because their early memories of school include masks, distancing, or adults who seemed more cautious and stressed. School may not feel as effortlessly safe and predictable as it once did for previous cohorts.
Teachers are noticing a drop in resilience
Schools across the UK have reported increased concerns about children’s emotional wellbeing since returning fully to face to face education. A survey reported by Place2Be and NAHT found that the vast majority of school staff had witnessed increased pupil anxiety compared with pre pandemic levels, alongside concerns about low self esteem.
Anxiety and low self esteem directly affect resilience. When children doubt their abilities or feel constantly on edge, they are less likely to take healthy risks. They may avoid challenge, give up quickly, or react strongly to small setbacks.
Teachers often describe pupils as needing more reassurance, more help with emotional regulation, and more support to persist with independent tasks. The silver lining is that resilience is not fixed. It is teachable, flexible, and responsive to supportive environments.
What resilience looks like in primary aged children
Resilience does not mean never crying or never feeling worried. It means feeling those emotions and gradually learning how to move forward anyway.
You might see resilience when your child keeps going after a spelling mistake, returns to a game after losing, asks for help instead of shutting down, or tries something new even when unsure.
If your child struggles with these moments, it does not mean something is wrong. It means they are still developing a skill that can absolutely be strengthened.
Start with connection
Before children can cope well, they need to feel understood. When your child is upset, the first step is connection, not correction.
Simple, steady language can help. You might say
- I can see this feels really hard right now
- It makes sense that you are upset
- I am here with you
- We will figure this out together
When children feel emotionally safe, their nervous systems calm. A calmer child can think more clearly and try again. That is resilience beginning to grow.
Teach the language of effort
Many children who experienced disrupted learning worry that they are behind. That worry can shrink their willingness to try.
Shift the focus from outcome to effort. When your child tackles something tricky, comment on the process rather than just the result.
You could say
- I noticed you kept going even when it was tricky
- You tried a different way when the first way did not work
- You did not give up, that is what helps your brain grow
- It is fine not to get it right straight away
This language builds an identity of someone who perseveres, rather than someone who must always succeed.
Allow safe struggle
It is natural to want to rescue your child when they are frustrated. However, resilience grows in the space between frustration and success.
Stay nearby, but do not immediately take over. Instead, try phrases like
- Show me what you have tried so far
- What could you try next
- Do you want a small hint or a bit more time
- I believe you can do hard things
You are offering support without removing the challenge. That balance is powerful.
Rebuild social confidence
For many primary aged children, social skills were under practised during periods of isolation. Friendship wobbles can now feel overwhelming.
Role play common situations in a light, playful way to help them practise key social skills and get used to using certain phrases. Practise what to say if someone will not share, or how to join a game. Keep it short and positive.
Helpful lines to model and practise include
- Can I have a turn when you are finished
- I did not like that
- Let us try again
- I need a break
These simple scripts give children tools when emotions run high.
After social situations, gently reflect together. Ask what went well, what felt tricky, and what they might try next time. This builds self awareness and problem solving, both key ingredients of resilience.
Create steady routines
Predictability is calming. When children know what to expect, they have more emotional energy available for coping with challenges.
You do not need a strict timetable, but consistent anchors help. A regular wake up time. A familiar after school snack. A calm bedtime rhythm. These everyday routines send the message that life is stable enough to take small risks.
Give meaningful responsibility
Children feel more capable when they contribute. Even young primary pupils can take on small responsibilities that matter.
Packing their own bag. Laying the table. Feeding a pet with supervision. Tidying their school shoes. When children see that they are trusted and capable, their confidence grows quietly in the background.
Confidence and resilience are close companions. When one strengthens, the other often follows.
Tell positive stories about who they are becoming
Children build their sense of self from repeated messages. Reflect resilience back to them.
You might say
- You were nervous and you still walked in
- You felt disappointed and you kept going
- You asked for help instead of giving up
- That was brave
Over time, these reflections become part of their internal voice.
When to seek extra support
If your child’s anxiety feels constant, sleep is heavily disrupted, or school refusal is increasing, it is wise to speak to school. Many primary schools have wellbeing leads or access to pastoral support. Reaching out is not a sign that you have failed. It is a proactive step in helping your child thrive.
A hopeful note
Covid disrupted more than lessons. It interrupted practice in independence, friendship, and coping. Even younger pupils in Year 1 and Year 2 felt the ripple effects during crucial developmental stages which is only now being linked back to the pandemic through research.
The reassuring truth is that resilience can be rebuilt in small, ordinary moments. A tricky homework task. A playground disagreement. A new club. With your calm presence and steady encouragement, those moments become stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks.
Resilience does not arrive overnight. It grows quietly, like roots beneath the soil. And with patience, warmth, and consistent support, those roots can become strong enough to weather whatever clouds drift in next.